(clank!)
The metal rod struck into the ground as I walked down the pedestrian road in the middle of the night, using the metal rod I “Borrowed” from the construction site as a walking stick, I carried my bruised and aching body towards a place where I could rest and heal while simultaneously thinking about what I was going to do next and what kind of predicament I had gotten myself into.
As soon as everything became clear to me and I realized where I was and what was going on I immediately decided to leave and find shelter meaning I was right now going towards the orphanage I hadn’t seen for the past 7 years ever since I entered the Imperial Academy with my scholarship.
I’d liked to say that I am experienced and well seasoned when it comes to dealing with unexpected situations but nothing in this world could have prepared me for what was going on now, things I was experiencing at the moment, things I have seen, could be only told within the confines of a novel whose protagonist I simply never wanted to be.
-huff…
I pondered, raising my rod as I slowly walked down the street, the cold night breeze caressing my slim and small body that was the proof of my transmigration while shivering with pain and fatigue, it would be normal for any ordinary person to just collapse and fall asleep in such state, but for me, it was merely a routine that my mind was used to, other then the bruises all over my body I didn’t possess any major injuries meaning there was no real threat to my life other then experiencing some excruciating pain which was normal.
If I really had to list something that was irritating me other then my situation then it probably would be the small golden retriever puppy called Sistina that was following me shouting behind me with its shrill voice.
-Hey ! Master ! Where are you going ! Why are you ignoring me ! Master please stop and talk to me !
(Clank!)
-…Master ?
I stopped, not because Sistina asked me to but because I felt a drop of water landing on my nose rousing me from my thoughts, the cold humid air was starting to get thicker, with my breath becoming more visible as time went on and the temperature dropped.
I looked up into the sky, watching the dark clouds up above I wondered from where they came from as I could have sworn that there weren’t any clouds whatsoever when I came to, but looking at it now, the thought left my brain and instead I started to become reminiscent, my eyes shaking.
The pain, the cold, the loneliness.
All of these things were never as strong as they were when I was younger, thinking about it, in the back of my mind I was still rejecting this reality, but as soon as I saw those dark clouds and the rain that was washing my body I could feel.
-I really did come back, but why me ?
It may be a bit confusing as to why I was saying such words, normally it would a good thing for most people to go back in time, as that would give them the chance to fix their past mistakes and make something out of themselves.
I heard lamenting and sighs of these kinds a thousand times in life and I knew I would hear a thousand more.
Such as “I wish I didn’t make that mistake” or “I should have studied more in the past” or “why couldn’t I just learned”.
People who say lines like these…
I despise them, I deem them as a lesser beings, as failures.
These words that come out of the same kind of human that I am, make me wonder how it came to that I had the same blood as them, it made me want to work harder and distance myself from those voices that spoke of the past while also asking them within my heart.
If you regret the past ? Why aren’t you working right now to fix them instead ?
Of course I had never said these words to anyone as I could already well predict what they were going to say such as.
“What would a brat like you know” “Its too hard, I am already tired, I can’t do it” “I am simply not talented enough”.
Hmph…excuses, all of them.
The reason I would ask these questions in my heart was not because I expect any answers from anyone in particular, but rather because I wanted to remind myself to not be like them.
To not regret the past, to not look back, to always look forward and look into the future.
I never ate good food.
But if I am full and well its enough.
I never lived in comfort or luxury.
But if I can sleep well and rest its enough.
I never loved someone before.
But if I don’t lose sight of who I am its enough.
I don’t have talent.
But if I work hard, if I act more, read more, work more, even for 1 more second I know that one day I will have everything I never had, I know that the word “enough” will no longer be necessary.
But what now ?
(Drizzle)
The rain drenched my body as I closed my eyes, the cold seeped deep into my veins as I thought until I suddenly opened them revealing my deep black eyes gleaming gloomily in the dark.
I felt betrayed.
-Master ! What are you doing ! Quickly get into the alley and take shelter ! You gonna catch a cold !
Sistina had never left, seeing me totally exposed and drenched in the heavy rainfall she bit my torn pants and attempted with all her strength to drag me into the alley and take shelter from the rain so I wouldn’t catch a cold, alas it was useless as Sistina being a small golden retriever puppy had no strength to force me to go anywhere.
But even so a type of indescribable and unknown warmth came to me the moment I saw Sistina act for my sake, but just as it became it disappeared just as quickly as it got washed away within the cold rain.
I stared at her for a moment, the fact that a puppy that could telepathically talk to me did no longer bother me as much as it did at the beginning, the faint bond I could feel connecting me with Sistina when she drank my blood made this feel all too natural for some reason, but that was irrelevant there was only one thing I wanted to know at the moment.
-Sistina..
-?..
Sistina stopped, noticing my glare she quickly raised her cute little head and stared at me, upon looking at my eyes, I could feel her startled emotions transmitted through our bond, but I wasn’t concerned and simply asked with a cold voice.
-Sistina, does my life…have value ?
Hearing my question, Sisitina momentarily made a blank face, or at least thats what I could perceive looking at her puppy face.
-What ?…ehm..I think ?
I furrowed my brows and raised my voice.
-You think ?!
I stepped forward walking towards Sistina with heavy and threatening steps causing her to backed off as we walked into the alley away from the rain, a bit of fear started to come from her bond but still I ignored it and stood in front of her looking down at her sternly.
-What do you mean by “I think” ?
-W-well…I-I-I mean, I really don’t know, don’t humans normally decide for themselves how valuable they are ?!
Sistina shrieked explaining herself, but I wasn’t satisfied, letting go of my rod I could hear it clank in background as I swiftly crouched down and picked up the little puppy with lightning speed.
Sistina didn’t even have time to react before being completely restrained within my hands, she cried a bit clearly frightened by my actions but I continued to ignore her plight and asked her with more force.
-Listen, do you think I would ask you this question if I hadn’t already exhausted all of my options ? While I do admit that it was I who wanted to live and begged to be saved, I didn’t say I wanted to go to the past did I !? If I knew this from the beginning I would have rather died then agreed to this deal ! Who is this god ? Who is he to be able to casually play with my life and push the reset button on me ?! All of my work, blood and sweat ? Do they mean nothing to you ? To me at least those years of life didn’t just represent a part of my history but the person who I am ! And now, its as if you took away everything I thought I was ! Its as if you’re denying me ! MOCKING ME ! It’s like you’re telling me everything I did was wrong since the very beginning ! And sure, I may be just an ant to you or the eyes of your god but know this, even ants have some purpose in their lives, they don’t just go meaninglessly gathering food ! They live knowing that one day they will die with hope !
I shouted my frustration, my lungs in pain from all the shouting as I could feel a warm stream of tears flowing down my eyes, It surprised me, I couldn’t remember the last time I had cried, but it was already a long time ago that’s for sure.
Sistina on the other hand was frozen, she stared at me with surprise and most likely she was also experience my wild emotions through our bond, I could feel her conflict too, she obviously knew nothing, the only way I was ever going to get answers was from this god.
-Let me talk to him..
I muttered.
Sistina was shocked for a moment, but she quickly recovered, the conflict in her heart only increased when I told her my demands and soon silenced ensued with the only sound coming from the drizzling rain.
After a few minutes of such silence I couldn’t hold it anymore and pressed.
-You won’t ?
-No ! Its not that ! I swear ! Its just…I can’t !
-You can’t ?
I narrowed my eyes, trying to listen what Sistina had to say.
-You see…the god no…the goddess..at this moment she isn’t capable of communicating with us…
Its a female ? Well it makes sense the heavenly voice I heard was indeed feminine..but what does she mean by she can’t talk to us ? Isn’t she a god ?
I thought, and it seemed as if Sistina could hear my thoughts loud and clear answering them instantly.
-Just because she is a god doesn’t mean she is omnipotent, rather she is more restricted because she is a god, the last god of this realm to be precise, ever since the great collapse that happened 2116 years ago that caused the magical essence all over the world to decline.The heavenly domain where the gods reside, which was build with magical essence to keep it in tact, started to dissipated which in result caused the deaths of the gods as they fell to the mortal domain which couldn’t provide them with any magical essence turning them into fish on dry land, the only reason the goddess is capable of living at this moment without the help of the heavenly domain to provide more magical essence is because she is a demi-god or half god who doesn’t purely rely on magical essence to live, but even so since she is still a god, magical essence is still very crucial to her survival, which is why at this moment to save any last magical essence she has left and prolong her life she has put herself into deep sleep unable to wake up on her own volition, that is without sufficient amount of magical essence to rouse her…which is why she called you ! In a last ditch effort to save herself she used a significant amount of magical essence to bend the laws of time and space, through this she searched for the perfect individual who could gather magical essence for her finally stumbling upon you who she took interest in and deemed appropriate for the task, my master !
Sistina explained raising her tiny pawn as she pointed it at me making me confounded even more then I already was.
-Me ? How am I going to help ? I don’t even have enough magical essence to cast a simple [Illumantin] spell how do you expect me to be able to rouse a god from her sleep?
I almost screamed, but I reigned myself in subduing my voice, Sistina seemed to understand my point and quickly tried to explain while rubbing my hand, more specifically the spot she bit and drank my blood from.
-I know, the goddess also knows, she isn’t expecting you to gather this immense magical essence with your own body, but rather has given you the ability to take the fate of others and turn it into magical essence which you can use to provide the goddess to let her recover, when I bit your hand and drank your blood I had finalized our contract officially turning you into a angel or a messenger of our goddess and my eternal master…achoo !
Suddenly Sistina sneezed, her warm and sticky saliva splattered onto my hand, holding her within my hands I only now started to realize how cold she was and how long we were standing outside within the cold, I had half a heart to just ignore her condition and have her continue her explanation, but after seeing her shiver and sniffle her nose, I realized that I couldn’t keep her or myself in this spot any longer, a cold would be the least of our worries if we don’t find shelter soon enough.
I may have been fundamentally betrayed by my core values, but on hindsight I still wanted to live and continue my path, the only thing I could do right now was cool down.
-Ahh…I am sorry master, what was I about to say ? Ahh yes the contract we…wWoaahh ! What are you doing ! Where are you putting me !? Why are you stuffing me inside your shirt ?!
Sistina shouted, struggling within my hands as I put her inside my shirt to try keep her warm, the small body of a wet puppy stuck up to my skin making me feel slimy but I endured.
-Sistina thats enough don’t move…you can tell me the rest later, so please just stay quiet until we find a warm shelter..
-…
Sistina didn’t respond only rubbing her head against my chest, I took it as her acknowledging me finally ending this entire conversation which left me much to think about, looking back into the streets I could see only a few people walking around at night, most had already taken shelter while those who couldn’t like the homeless were gathering near fire spots like burning barrels and the like using cartons as makeshift roofs sitting in the rain.
There were a few places I could go that I recalled from my memories the most prominent being the orphanage since I lived there for 18 years, but thinking about Sistina and the fact that she was a animal at the moment which weren’t allowed within the orphanage I could only think of alternative instead while looking up until the sky to see how long the rain would seem to last.
-Hahh..that day…did it also rain like this ?
I wondered, recalling the time when similar nights like these happened, only this time I wouldn’t be going to the orphanage like I always did.
A Place Of Legends 