Where…am I ?
I asked myself, my eyes blurry and my head so incredibly dizzy as if I had just ridden the most mind boggling roller coaster ride in my entire life.
I wanted to vomit and scream at the same time but because I was also trying to keep myself calm I refused to give into any of my pain and simply focused on getting better which wasn’t very easy mind you.
My vision was still very blurry even though I tried to look around and see what was around me I could only see a faint darkness surrounding me with occasional silhouettes passing by the corner of my eyes.
It was scary but I tried not to get panicked or shout so I wouldn’t get targeted by anything.
After a bit of time I finally started to get better but as soon as I had wiggle room to think properly I started to ask once again.
Where am I ?
No rather who am I ?
I found myself wanting to know the answers to these two questions only now realizing that I was laying on a seemingly unpleasant and moist floor a extremely unpleasant stench in the air that resembled feces, I finally forced myself to get up…or at least try to sit properly.
At the same time I was organizing my thoughts, my eyes were still blurry and there was not much I could see other than darkness still.
-Yes…I remember my name…my name is Artorius Castus…I am 96 years old and…and I am a game developer !
I remembered, my memories immediately flooding back into my head as I started to remember who I was again, my life that lasted a total of 96 years flashed before my eyes as if a long lost recording was being played through my eyes.
I was born in the year 1995 having been born in rome and in a military family at that, namely the Castus family, I was named after one of the most famous commanders in history Lucius Artorius Castus though I prefer it when people call me Arthur.
Being born in such a military family my parents and even my grandparents expected a lot out of me, at the mere age 6 I was immediately put into a hard educational regime, I could still remember the day when my caretaker dragged me away and put me into a pitch dark and completely isolated room, I was scared and confused, I cried a lot and shouted out for my parents but no one came, I at first thought they couldn’t hear me but later when I got older I realized that they simply didn’t care.
Even to this day I sometimes shiver when I think about this experience which would repeat itself for the following years as I got older, being left alone everyday inside a pitch dark room for 4 to 6 hours where the only thing you could hear was your own voice is a terrifying experience, it messes with you and turns you into a completely different person be it for the best or the worst, though ultimately I learned to overcome these fears the more I got used to the dark but not completely.
Finally this continued until my adolescence namely when I turned 12 years of age, I would no longer be locked into that room and need to experience total isolation and darkness, but instead a completely different hell started to be enacted for me.
I begged my parents and tried to ask why they would do something like this to me I asked them what did I do wrong, but in the end the only reply I ever got was this.
-You will understand when you get older, this is all for the sake of the family our blood may be strong be we also need to strong to continue our lineage.
These words stung a lot especially since they were told by my own mother who I still loved dearly, it felt as if the only thing she cared about was our lineage the blood that ran through our veins.
She never really cared about me much less my father who rarely even talked to me, and regarding my grandparents they were even more severe than my own parents not even looking at me like their own grandson but rather a product to be judged.
It hurt, it was painful, it was agonizing, it was scary…
But most of all…
It was lonesome.
With no one to call out for help, with no one to love I felt as if there was no way I could ever escape from this deep seated feeling of helplessness in my heart.
And as such my mind seemed to completely break when I turned 13, it was as if my mind switched into auto pilot with me completely giving up any thoughts of resistance or escape I continued to walk through my life that was set out for me by my parents and grandparents, experiencing even more horrific things starting with torture training to combat lessons and even how to effectively kill people, the only time I had ever felt even slightly at peace was when I studied general knowledge such as math and physics and even then it was only a small glimpse of peace that never truly came into being.
Fast forward 8 years later, at the age of 21 I had finally finished my training, becoming a full fledged and thoroughly groomed member of the Castus family, I was completely brainwashed and somewhere along the line started to believe that everything I had experienced was right and proper, I even somewhat had pride in myself in a twisted sort of way, at this point my mind and body didn’t have any sort of rejection, I was ready for anything and everything, ready to lay my life for my family for my lineage that was bestowed to my by my noble blood.
But most importantly of all I really wanted to see my family, my mother and father, for the past 8 years of my training I was constantly isolated and never had the chance to see them or hear any news from them, I originally hated them for making me go through all of this but because I was getting brainwashed, slowly but surely I started to miss my own kin my family.
Because of this the moment I successfully finished my training I immediately unhesitantly headed towards my family home, my butler tried to stop me along the way giving me loads of excuses as to why I couldn’t go there at the moment and meet my family but I ignored him, I had every right to do so since I was the rightful heir and he had no control over me, my moral compass at this point was also extremely twisted, I thought nothing of murder and killing, the butlers and maids surrounding me were merely bugs in my eyes that I could kill any time worthless and without merit, living only for the purpose of serving me and nothing else.
I truly feel disgusted about myself when I think back to this, but at the same time I feel that this wasn’t my fault, I was brought up thinking that I was a noble and that there was truly nothing I couldn’t do combined with my own personal skills that were both rivaling that of a expert scholar and a master assassin I had nothing to fear.
Actually fear was something I had long since lost through my training only a cold and calculating mind was left after all I went through with the only warm thoughts being the memories of my family that kept me going and made me strong.
Yes…my oh so great family…
-Haha ! Mama, look I made this airplane ! Doesn’t it look cool it even flies very far ! Uncle Marco taught me how to make it ! Hey hey isn’t it cool !
The moment I came back home this was what I saw.
A little child holding a white paper airplane showing it off in front of her parents, the parents surrounding their lovely little child smiled sweetly and lovingly as they praised the lovely little kid who looked like she was 8 to 9 years old.
-Yes, yes its really cool how about you show mama how it flies.
The mother said stroking the kid’s head.
-Hey your only want your mama to see ? What about your papa ? Am I not important enough to see your cool airplane ? Haha..
The father replied, laughing happily as he asked his cute daughter while crouched to her level.
Standing within the beautiful rose garden this image of father, mother and daughter smiling happily was like a image taken from a supreme painting, looking at it you could simply feel the love that was displayed so openly and affectionately.
It was pure family love, warm cozy and comfortable anyone who saw it would feel the same as the family in the picture.
But why was it…
That when I saw it…
I FELT PAIN !
PIERCING PAIN, DISGUSTING PAIN, INHUMAN PAIN…
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY !!!!!!!!!!
SO MUCH PAIN !
For a moment I felt like coughing up blood seeing that image in front of me, I barely was able to keep myself together before I stepped forward finally making myself known to these 3 people.
-M…mother ? Father ?
With me suddenly entering the picture the previous happy and warm atmosphere seemed to have gone to wind, both my parents and the child turned their heads to me, the child was confused when she looked at me not who I was, but when my parents looked at I could clearly see their expressions.
It was clear and evident even though it only lasted for a split second I could clearly see it in their eyes the amount of horror and fear they felt when they looked at me.
Afterwards there was a notable and clear awkward silence when I made myself known, it seemed like both of my parents were completely unaware that I came back and that I completed my training, the fact they weren’t aware of my arrival was understandable since I climbed my own over the fence and entered on my own but the fact the didn’t know that I had finished my training truly pierced the depths of my heart.
Did they perhaps forgot ?
Did they perhaps forgot about me ?
Was I really that forgettable ?
How worthless could I have possibly been for them to forget me ?
Maybe they didn’t forget ?
Maybe they just mistook the date and thought it was tomorrow.
Yes, maybe I am just mistaken.
Not being able to take all of this at once I completely fell into my own crazy delusions convincing myself that they simply forgot the date of my release, but deep down I completely understood and knew why they looked so shocked.
They did forget about me.
They didn’t care about me at all, I was worthless.
But because I hated such thought I forced myself to think otherwise.
-A..artorius…you came back ? My..my son how have you been doing ?
After a long silence this was what my mother was finally able to tell me…
How have you been doing ?
How have you been doing ?
How have you been doing ?
How have you been doing ?
How have you been doing ?
These words kept on spinning inside my head the moment I heard them, they weren’t the caring words that I had originally imagined inside my head and instead sounded incredibly offensive in my ear.
How have I been doing ?
First of all my entire body is riddled with scars that pain me to this day, I have over 50 types of augmentations planted inside my entire body making into a half human and half cyborg, I have a fake tooth planted inside my back jaw that releases extremely potent poison in case I get captured so I can easily commit suicide to not leak intel and on top of that I am blind within my left eye which was replaced with a prosthetic that is used to store data.
How have I been doing ?
I thought for another brief moment about that question, wanting to answer it as best as I could because it was my dear mother who asked it of course and after thinking for a bit I finally smiled brightly before I said.
-Yes, of course I am doing very fine nothing to worry about
There was a clear twitch to my bright smile the moment I answered, even though I wanted to act happy about the fact that my mother was sort of caring about me, my subconscious mind just couldn’t stop itself from rearing its head and showings its true feeling even when I wasn’t aware of it.
Because of this my mother looked clearly frightening when she saw my crooked and sinister smile that was both twitching and deforming inside my mouth, her immediate instinct was to grab her daughter and hide her in her bosom while looking down not daring to meet my eyes, the child still not understanding what was going on faintly asked her mother why she was doing this and that she felt uncomfortable with the way her mother was hugging her.
Of course my mother didn’t even hear what her daughter was saying and simply kept her inside her bosom the child also seemed to realized that her talking would not work and simply gave up all of a sudden, her eyes once again curiously glancing my way.
I met her stare for the very first time, the child was beautiful resembling her mother very much she had long and glossy brown hair and cute facial features, donning a white one piece dress she looked like a little princess from a story book.
Looking at her I felt both the urge to talk with her but also touch her at the same time, I originally thought these emotions I felt were the feelings of brotherly love, only later did I truly realize that it was intense jealousy and hate I was feeling when I was looking at her.
The child obvious understood my gaze and felt terrified, I stepped forward wanting to touch her but before I could even take another step I found myself getting blocked by someone.
-Hey..hey Artorius how about we inside already, it sure is cold outside how about you tell your dad about what you been up to lately ? It had been so long since we last talked and I really want to know you know ?
I blankly stared at my dad as I listened to him ramble on in front of me, it was only now that he had started talking and even though I was supposed to feel good about the fact that my father truly cared about me, for some reason I couldn’t help but feel that he was incredibly annoying standing in my way. the face I was looking at felt so unfamiliar, to be honest he never talked to me so much before ever since I was born this is the only time he has ever talked to me so much and even though I always dreamed of him talking to me like this…
Why do I feel…
As if he was just acting ?
I thought about it, but immediately chose to ignore it once again and simply smiled towards my father once again showing him a crooked smile.
-Father, I would like to talk to you as well but right now I am more curious about my sister, you should understand right ? I haven’t come home for a very long time, I didn’t even know that I had sister, to be honest I feeling very surprised buts its also very pleasant and as I brother isn’t it my duty to care for my sister ? Since she is so young she should probably be already in mids training to become a rightful member of our family and as such as her brother and her senior I should give her some advice for the challenges that have yet to come no ?
I spoke sincerely, not even aware of the fact that the moment I mentioned the “training” my mother had gripped my sister even harder to the point my sister was now crying, my father also looked extremely tense the moment I mentioned this topic, cold sweat was running down his cheeks and his eyes were shaking as well, I pretended like I didn’t notice but all my training and the superhuman augmentations I had been planted with allowed me to see every single little detail there was to see, even if I pretended not being able to see my body would still look with or without my wishes.
At the back of my head I wondered why the atmosphere had gotten so tense all of a sudden, it wasn’t as if the atmosphere wasn’t tense to begin with ever since I appeared it was just that the initial tense atmosphere had immediately turned hyperactive the moment I opened my mouth, my father also just continued to stare at me without saying a word blocking my path.
-Well, if father doesn’t have any else to say then I shall meet my sister
Ultimately I started to get sick of looking at my father and simply chose to excuse him while passing him swiftly, my father in turn seeing me outright ignoring him made a dumbfounded expression which immediately turned into a scared and panicked one as he chose to chase after me and grab me.
Through this process my mind was racing and my once bottled and sealed emotions running amok inside my body, I haven’t even realized how much all of this affected me a type of augmentation that caused me to get cool headed was constantly doing its business but even then it couldn’t stop my raging emotions from spilling out of my body.
I was close, oh so very close to my sister who was tearfully looking my way with frightened eyes, she must have been shouting but I could hear none of it too focused on what I was about to do as I was about to lay my hands on her…
That is until my mother shouted at me.
I was surprised by her sudden outburst, my hands frozen and hesitantly retracted themselves for a moment as I raised my eyes towards my mother, this entire time I hadn’t even once looked at her eyes for some reason only now getting a good look at her, I saw a deep and feral beast inside those brown eyes of hers, she looked at me with hostility, fear and rage, I couldn’t believe such transformation and I also just couldn’t understand why she was shouting at me in the first place.
What did I do wrong ?
Am I not enough for you ?
Are you not proud of your son ?
What did I do wrong tell me, what do you not like about me ?
I fix it for you if you want. I give my life for you.
JUST ACCEPT ME PLEASE ! TELL ME YOU LOVE ME ! I AM YOUR SON YOUR FLESH AND BLOOD !
WHY ARE YOU REJECTING ME !
I wanted to shout, I wanted to ask why she was being like this to me her own son, but in the end no sound came out of my mouth, I hadn’t even realized but tears were coming out of my eyes, even though I had long since forgotten how to cry, tears were somehow escaping my eyes, tears of red pure blood, the augmentation that was keeping my mood under control were being overloaded starting to mess with my body causing these blood red tears of blood.
I could only see my mothers eyes, the pure hostility directed my way and the extreme fear I felt from these eyes had told me enough for me to understand that I was simply not wanted.
A unwanted child. A child with no worth or merit.
Those servants I thought that were worth less then bugs seemed to have far more worth and merit then I ever had.
A realization stroke my mind, this realization allowed all of the frustration and fears that enveloped me to suddenly disappear, my bloody tears also stopped streaming, looking back at my mother she looked extremely surprised that I was crying blood, looking at her there was in a small trace of motherly worry I could spot in her eyes at that point.
A sliver of acceptance that I yearned for all these years had appeared.
But now it was already too late for me to accept or to forgive, no reason or purpose would change this fact.
I laughed, for the first time in over 15 years I laughed, it was as if all the weight and burdens, all the pain and horrors I had experienced just flew away with that laugh, I directed my eyes looking down at my little sister with new found emotions enveloping me.
-Hey…My name is Artorius I am your elder brother, this is our first time meeting each other whats your name ?
My sudden questions garnered quite a bit of surprise from my sister, she was still extremely scared but seemed to have significantly calmed down after seeing me cry and politely introduce myself, she stuttered a bit before speaking to me letting me her lovely voice.
-M…my name is Sabrina…
-Oh Sabrina huh ?…what does that name mean ? My parents named me after a great commander that once served in our family Lucius Artorius Castus, whose name did you inherit ?
I spoke with a bit of my twisted pride mixed into my voice as I spoke to her about the origin of my name, ultimately though all of that pride was crushed the moment I heard her reply.
-Ehm…I didn’t inherit anyone’s name…my mother said that my name Sabrina came from a flower she loves…your really lucky Elder brother Artorius for being named after a great commander I am really jealous !
She smiled telling me her opinion, I froze for a second hearing her words, that she was “Jealous” of me, though I would have loved it if she was simply sarcastic and trying to hurt me but I understood that this wasn’t the case, she was sincere and pure, she was a child after all and after interacting with for the past few seconds I also realized that she was completely different from me, she didn’t even experience 1/100 of what I had gone through, the training I was speaking of was never even something she had known in her entire life or would ever experience.
I once again laughed, my parents hadn’t been doing anything ever since my sister and I started to talk with each other they simply observed and kept watch over us, even though I couldn’t see their expressions I guessed that they wouldn’t interrupt either until we finished and I was fine with.
But in the end things have to come to an end eventually.
I raised my palm, putting it on top of my sisters head I stroked her gently, my mother and father clearly gasped seeing touch my sister but were immediately calmed after realizing that I wasn’t actually harming her or anything and simply stroking her.
Sabrina herself was sort of surprised as well it looked like she wanted to say something but ultimately she just choose to keep her tongue instead and wait until I was finished, her eyes were closed and as time went on it looked like she was starting to get comfortable with me stroking her like this.
-Sabrina, when I was your age, I once asked my mother why our family was the way it was, she told me that when I get older I would understand why and that while our blood may be strong we also need to be strong in body, well what I am ultimately trying to say is that, don’t rely on your blood but your body, the blood isn’t truly whats important its the thing the blood contains that is important…do you understand ?
-Uhuh…I didn’t understand everything brother Arthur…but I did understand what you wanted to say…basically you should work hard right ! To be worthy of your blood ?
-Yes thats exactly what I wanted to say…hehe Sabrina is very smart…though is it hard for you say my name ? Why Arthur ?
I asked slightly puzzled as it was the first time someone ever called me Arthur or even tried to abbreviate it like that.
Hearing my question Sabrina smiled even more she didn’t immediately answer me and instead shook free from her mother all of a sudden and started to run towards a patch full of different kinds of roses and flowers.
We were all confused standing still not sure what was going on, luckily it didn’t take long for Sabrina to find what she wanted, picking a flower she immediately ran back towards us holding a golden yellow rose in her hands she came to me and showed it to me.
-This is ?
-Its called Rosa “Arthur” Bell, its my favorite flower because brother Artorius has the same name as the flower I thought it would be easier to remember your name if I think about this flower !
She said, putting the golden yellow rose into my hands as I observed it with shaking hands, I had lost all words after her explanation, not even sure how to respond I simply held the beautiful golden yellow rose, it was beautiful and smelled extremely sweet, the thorns on its stem were sharp and point but I didn’t care and simply admired its beauty.
A flower like this called “Arthur” ?
I couldn’t help but laugh again.
-Yes, thank you, I think I like that name better too “Arthur”, I don’t mind you calling me that either Sabrina.
Sabrina giggled, her laugh causing the atmosphere to mysteriously shift making it feel calm and gentle, but just as Sabrina finished her giggle she looked up to me and made a puzzled expression as she looked at me.
-Brother arthur…why are you crying ? Did the thorns of the rose hurt you ?
-What ? I am crying ?
I was surprised touching my cheeks I could feel my hot tears coming down my face, but this time those tears weren’t blood and instead they were normal salty and clear tears that came out of my eyes without me noticing.
-Ahh…I see well its looks like its time for me to go
I started to understand, these tears weren’t bad rather just like I came into realization because of my mother and let go of my pain Sabrina had also induced a type of enlightened towards me, a side that I had long lost as a human seemed to have slowly returned back to me, it wasn’t fully back but I realized that for a long time now I had been completely wrong with the way I was living my life, not in the way I was treated or put through all of this training to become who I was but rather the attitude I wore when I faced those difficulties.
I felt ashamed, not realizing something this easy to understand, it was shameful.
-Sabrina, your brother has to leave now, I hope we will meet again somebody but it could also be that we’re never going to see each other again so please take care of father and mother in my stead, can you do that for me ?
I gently asked, Sabrina was a bit confused by my statement she even asked where I was going but in the end seeing me not answering her she simply nodded at me telling me she understood.
I also didn’t dawdle anymore, I felt as if I had learned a lot that day, I still needed a lot of time alone and time to digest the information I had acquired for myself.
Turning around I made my way towards the exit.
Where I would go, what would I do and where I would live was completely unknown to me, without any money or friends to rely on, I was completely alone in this world but I wasn’t scared or distressed, even though I most probably could have demanded money from my parents or stayed here I didn’t do so as I knew that there was simply no place for me here anymore.
This was further was proven after both my father and mother just simply let me go, they didn’t stop me, my father looked as if he wanted to say something to me but in the end held his tongue as he watched me leave in regret.
My mother didn’t even look at me, and I also simply didn’t care anymore, I walked out of the gate of our estate and never looked back ever again.
With no aim or goal in sight I continued to walk and walk my through the world, having collected myself and digested most of the things I’ve come to know about myself I started to think that I simply knew too little about the world and its inhabitants.
I decided to once again learn and do some training, but this time it was under my own accord I wanted to learn, along the way I met numerous people and made dozens of friends, I learned to appreciate life in a different sense, the common sense of world started to affect me giving me opportunity to fix my ways and become a better person, I continued to go and travel like this for approximately 5 years until I was 26 years old, the way I survived and made my living was through selling my own skill.
As a expert scholar and master assassin there were a lot of things a man like me could do, but I first started with manual labor to get a feel as to what working was like, because I had augmentations and consumed serums that enhanced my body I never got really tired or felt that it was difficult, because of my talent a lot of people reached out to me and wanted to know me, using these connections I slowly started to build my own network and go from work place to work place doing all kinds of things ranging from simple cleaning to cooking inside a restaurant, being a bodyguard to becoming a manager of a entire store, I walked all kinds of ways of life but through all of this I came to realize that the world was really a peaceful place.
Sure there still existed a lot of bad things that happened on a daily basis but in comparison to the past the world had come a long way to become the way it was today with the majority of the people happy.
I myself still didn’t know what I wanted to do, I had only been travel and working the entire time meeting with people occasionally to talk and have fun with, I had never a true friend who I could speak on equal terms as every person I spoke to so far simply too normal and ordinary, sometimes I would feel a sense of non-belonging knowing that I was simply different everybody else but even then I didn’t let it get to me, I tried smile most of the time at first people thought my smile was disturbing and crooked but as time went on my smile seemed to have improve as I started to enjoy myself.
Of course I also knew that I just simply couldn’t continue like this my entire life, I had to do something, and make something out of myself, all this time traveling I understood that the purpose of living to a human wasn’t for the sake of living but for the sake of making your dreams come true.
A friend once told me that most people don’t know what their dream is, most people simply go by their lives wantonly and expect something to happen to them that can change their live and force them to go, such train of thought is fundamentally wrong, while taking your time is advised it doesn’t mean you can just not think about it and expect something to happen.
Hearing such thoughts I became increasingly scared of my future, I asked that friend about what I should do if I wanted to avoid something like this happening.
-Well, for starters how about you do something right now that you think you want to do ? Instead of thinking about the future try to think about the now, try to use the things you enjoy to do and link it to the future you want to happen and by doing so you should also try to connect this train of thought to other people and help them too.
-Help..other people ?
I was puzzled sitting inside a food cart my friend and I ate and drank that night, he was a journalist I got to know while travel, his name isn’t important as this was also the conversation we ever had ever since we got to know each other, but his advice held deep in my actions that came after which I am thankful for.
-Yes, helping others, nowadays don’t you think that a lot of people started to get cynical and close minded about themselves ? What is the purpose of working to begin with ? It is to benefit not only you but the society altogether most people don’t understand that while others take things for granted, you gotta first enjoy helping others before you think about working, insincere work will not get you anywhere other than making people think they deserve your work, greeting people, telling them that you appreciate their help or enjoying the smiles someone gives you for your help can come a long way don’t you know ?
-Enjoying to help others, connecting the things you like to do with other people
I pondered about these two things greatly and after this conversation I seemed to come to another enlightenment that change my life once more.
As soon as I turned 26 I immediately settled down into a big city and started to learn how to program and design graphics.
With my ultimately aim to become a great game developer !
After traveling for a long time I came to realize how great it was to play a video game be it alone or with other people, the amount of happiness and engagement you can bring through a simple program is fascinating it helps you to keep your mind off of things and relax, a game can be both difficult and easy to play but regardless what it is the most important aspect is to keep the player engaged and interest.
I aimed to be such a developer, I wanted my games to be not only great to play but most importantly keep the player interested, I wanted the people outside to enjoy my game just as much I enjoyed making it.
Because of this my motivation and enthusiasm went through the roof, I started off inside a small one room apartment learning programming and graphical design until I finally ended up inside a big mansion with dozens of rooms working inside my work office.
I did this for almost my entire life, spending another 5 years of my life into learning every detail regarding the development of the games and how to make them I started to branch out further after I realized that I already knew quite a lot of things.
Making simple games at the beginning and releasing them at a steady rate for free into the public garnered me attention and quite a reputation, it wasn’t all that easy though, I may have originally smart and clever but I wasn’t all too immune by the hurtful comments from the people that didn’t like my game, even to this day I mostly avoid the review section of my games out of fear that I would lose heart but that is something I just can’t help, forcing myself is also hard to do at times but I try to keep the complaints in mind and improve on them.
After I started to gain a steady reputation as a indie developer a lot of development companies started to pay attention to me and review my games, I have quite a lot of my favorite game developers over the years and had also the pleasure to acquire wisdom from them.
In the end I was eventually hired by one of these big companies, I worked very hard in that period with other people collaborating and getting my name in the credit sequence of a lot of triple A titles getting a lot of games under my belt.
Sales or popularity were never really important to me, I never forget my true aim or strayed from my promised path, I always aimed to make games that people enjoyed as much as I enjoyed making them, the company I worked for on the other hand didn’t share my sentiment, they only wanted to see high sales and didn’t care about the quality of the game which eventually led me into a fallout as I decided to voluntarily quit the company.
I was 35 when I quit the company, at that time I was already considered a veteran when it came to game development, many other companies wanted me to join after they heard the news of me quitting but I also rejected every single one of them, in the end what I truly wanted to do was to create my own video game company and make the games I wanted to make.
Doing this wasn’t difficult, having saved a lot of money I bought out a building to serve as a base of operation and through using my connections I assembled a team that I could fairly well work with and trust.
With this team and everything set, my dream was coming closer and closer, at the age of 35 I had long since let go of everything that happened to me ever since I was born, nobody obstructed me and my parents never called back for me, I was happy, even though I didn’t have a wife or kids I didn’t feel bothered by it and instead full heartedly chased after my dream.
This video game company would later become extremely famous for making hit titles and extremely good games that catered to the audience, the main genre of games we made were RPG or action games, I loved rpgs the most and my most crowning achievement of all was the game I had poured my entire life into and spend over 40 years making up until I was 80 years of age.
It is as the title suggests an RPG game, but it aint any ordinary rpg game, needing at the bare minimum over 500+ hours of time to finish the main story alone this game had endless replay value as the side stories and other subplots would take even more a total of maybe even 30000+ plus hours to complete, it is a turn based rpg with basic 2D graphics but don’t let that fool you, the game is extremely difficult and has a extremely high learning curve what makes this game so special though is the fact that it has a perma death mechanic.
Yes you heard me right, perma death just like a rogue like this game will immediately end the moment you die and you need to start over, your save will be deleted not that you even have more than 1 save as the game only saves when you need to pause the game and leave.
Many people complained when the game was first released, complaining about the extreme difficulty and perma death mechanic of the game, but I didn’t care, this game originally was simply not meant for casual players, the game was meant for people that could truly appreciate and enjoy its difficulty.
A lot of people tried to cheat the game as well trying to add mods to it or make console commands appear unfortunate for them it was impossible for either of these two methods to work without corrupting the game itself, I took extra precaution to these kinds of cases when I made the game making it impossible to cheat to clear the game.
Admittedly because of this the game suffered from horrible reviews and didn’t make a lot of money, but that didn’t last forever this trend only continued for about 1 year before the sales shot up high into space.
The reason being the few people who actually did enjoy the game, hardcore players who made it their goal to clear the game.
Videos of the game were everywhere over the net the captivating story being narrated and shown with those gamers who tried all sorts of combinations and skill builds in the game in a effort to at least clear one of the beginner characters and move on the next character.
Yes, even after 1 year after the release the game still had not been completely cleared, the game has a total of 12 official characters with 6 males and 6 females, the game would start with you either choosing the male or female beginner character to play the game, each character has its own unique story, and if you clear the game with either character you would immediately unlock the next set of characters with a different story.
All characters are set and aren’t just blank slates, I made much effort into including each arch type and play style to all characters as to make the player feel unfamiliar each time they play a different character.
Furthermore this wasn’t even the end to truly beat the game a player had to get the true ending for 12 characters in game for him to finally unlock the final hidden character inside the game !
Well I say all this but its not like I have seen anyone yet do all of this and clear the game with all 12 characters much less acquire the true ending for all 12.
When I was 96 years old and was laying on my death bed I’ve never got to see the player who would ultimately clear the game, at the time the record was only 6 characters that were cleared, but I didn’t feel dissatisfied even though I didn’t get to see who was going to be the lucky one to end that game I was still very happy about the result of what this brought.
A whole following was made around the game, people all over the world connected through this game everyone came together to try beat this game and became comrades along the line, it wasn’t the game really that was important to me, it was the people who came together that really made me proud.
-Haha…brother Arthur looks like you finally fulfilled your dream
Around the corner of my eyes I could see a old woman approach me holding a walking stick in her hands.
Her voice was old and hoarse and she had a lot of wrinkles in her face but looking at her I knew immediately who she was even if I didn’t see her for the past 75 years of my life.
My little sister Sabrina.
I smiled looking at her, I was already extremely old, it was a miracle that I could live 96 years of age without mental problems and a body full of scars plus the augmentations and even though death was now very close I felt happy to see my sister for the last time.
-I didn’t expect for you to show up, how did you even find me ? I thought I cleaned every trace of my existence ? I even changed my name…
-You mean from Artorius to Arthur ? What kind of name changing is that you old scrooge ! To begin with don’t you know that our family has a incredibly intelligence network ? I could find you even if you were on the moon my dear brother !
The old lady said, smiling at me as she teased me with her words, the only thing I could was laugh as I already knew as much, it wasn’t as if I wasn’t aware that my family had been observing me this entire ever since I left, the only thing I could thankful of is the fact that they didn’t interfere with me or try to get me back, I was happy the way I was I wouldn’t change anything even if I had the chance.
-So how were father and mother ? What did they say when they died ? Are you doing well yourself Sabrina ?
The old frowned upon my question, even though she was my little sister we were both way beyond acting like siblings, we haven’t even talked ever since I first met her that day, and even though that was the case I didn’t feel as if I wanted to reject her, no, time heals all after all.
-They…they regretted it…brother Arthur…the regretted not being able to save you, the regretted for putting you through all of that and even I do regret..its just that I…
It was obvious that this topic was too much for Sabrina, she was old 83 years old even though she was 14 younger then me she was still very old and was probably not too far from death door since she was a female and weaker then me.
-Enough, I don’t want to hear any more sit down already it won’t do you any good standing like this all day, how about you just sit down and tell your brother what you’ve been doing so far, come.
I patted, the side of my bed telling her to come closer, Sabrina was obviously a bit shocked, tears were welling in her eyes but she chose endure and quickly came closer with a smile sitting next to me on my bed.
She told me everything, how she grew and what she did, how she became the house head and how she never had time to marry anyone as she was too busy with her own work and instead decided to adopt her own child who gave her own grand children.
She initially didn’t mention our parents, but that was fine, hearing about them was not going to change anything, regret was regret pondering on it would not change what happened, but Sabrina still insisted only telling me the reason why I went through all of that, even though she didn’t mention our parents she told me that it wasn’t because my parents hated me that I was put through all of that no, the reason was fairly simple actually, they just couldn’t care at the beginning, my mother and father originally never even loved each to begin with, their marriage was purely a political one set up by their parents, my grandparents, after they had me they immediately chose to get away from each other and choose to live separate lives, they left my care towards my grandparents who had unreasonable expectation from me since the beginning wanting to make me the perfect heir to the house.
But after a few years both of my grandparents died from old age, at this point my father became the true heir to the house and my mother the true mistress, no longer did they have to live under the shadow of my grandparents and through this they finally had room to breath eventually sparking love each other which finally resulted in the birth of Sabrina.
The child born from the love of these people was equally loved, but that didn’t mean that everything was fine both of them still remembered their first child myself who was still in the training camp over going horrible torture, my father initially seemed as if he wanted to immediately take me away out of guild, but my mother on the other hand was hesitant and too ashamed to meet her son again after all she did to him, this caused a lot of strife around the house and arguments to spark finally it got so drawn out that they ultimately didn’t decide until I showed up myself and came to them.
Sabrina says that mother and father blamed themselves until their death ever since I left, there was not one day they didn’t regret or feel as if they were complete failures, because of this both became extremely depressed and weak, and Sabrina at a young age was forced to handle a lot of business that was supposed to be handled by parents, she also went through a lot of pain though she does admit it since she can’t say that the pain was just as much as my own.
This revelation in the end did nothing to me.
It didn’t matter to me how my parents felt about me, their inaction alone has showed that they were indeed incompetent, but that doesn’t mean I blame them now, being bitter even to this age will not do me any good the only thing I can do is let go.
-But brother don’t you think that this is too upsetting and unjust ? Aren’t you even slightly angry at our parents ?
Sabrina asked me, her voice was full of doubt and insecurity, I wasn’t sure why she was asking me this but I understood that Sabrina wanted to at least feel slightly at peace after all she would also soon follow me into the after life.
I looked at the window, beside the window was a flower pot and inside the flower pot was a Rosa “Arthur” bell, raising my hand I plucked it from its stem and gave it to my sister, who took it confusingly for a moment before she started to remember our very first meeting and the promise she made to me.
-Take care of our parents for me ?
She whispered those lines, sudden realization taking place in her mind as she looked at me with astonishment
-You…brother you knew ?
I nodded at her, it wasn’t as if I didn’t know what parents would become after I left, I saw the regret in my fathers eyes, he wasn’t a bad person per say, he was just awkward and didn’t know how to express himself, mother on the hand was too ashamed and couldn’t defeat herself, with those kinds of traits it was easy for me to concluded that they would probably start to loath themselves after I was gone, I made Sabrina promise me that she would take care of our parents so they wouldn’t do anything drastic which is the current result.
-But why ? Why would you do something like this ?
Sabrina cried, her voice shaking as she looked at me, I looked at her as well feeling that death was about to come, my hands shook as I wiped away her tears and smiled at her.
It was a bright smile, no longer crooked or deformed, I learned to smile with all my heart, I had finally become human again.
-Sabrina, you’re not at fault, my views of my parents do not reflect their real selves, just because I didn’t like them doesn’t mean you shouldn’t either, the flower you gave me that day and the name you bestowed me made me realize this, so don’t think less of them just because they failed once, just because they failed me doesn’t mean they failed you isn’t that right ?
Sabrina hugged me, holding the Rosa “Arthur” bell in her hands she hugged me tight as her tears soaked my garment, I hugged her back and gently stroked her head just like I did the very first time we met.
-Sabrina, I hope you feel better now, your brother doesn’t have a lot of time, I hope we will see each other again someday in a different life
-Yes ! We definitely will ! No, I will make it happen so please brother look for me okay ! Promise me !
Sabrina cried to me, I was surprised by her sudden outburst but I still smiled in the end and promised her.
-Yes, Sabrina I promise I will look for you when I remember again.
Those were the last things I could remember before everything went dark and now finding myself back to the present I couldn’t help but notice a light blue window floating in front of my eyes that stated.
[Please Choose Your Class]
Mage, Archer, Thief, Fighter, Assassin, Cleric, Warrior, Novice, Hunter, Miner, Skinner, Chef, Merchant, Warden, Lumberjack, Herbalist, Songster, Dancer. Adventurer, Fisher, Tinker, Physician
These were all the 1st rank classes from the game Kings Glaive, but to top it off this screen was something only available to one character in game who was also the only character that could choose a class from the very beginning.
The hidden character of Kings Glaive.