This page is dedicated to all the quotes and funny jokes that were picked up by mjolnir77 and myself so enjoy and tell me your opinion or a joke you may know if you want me to add it to this list.
[The Longest Joke I Know]
In the middle of the woods there was a small lake. In the middle of this lake there was a fly hovering six inches above the water. Down in the water there was a fish. And the fish said: If that fly drops six inches…I’m going to get that fly. A little ways away from that there was a bear. And the bear saw the fly and said: If that fly drops six inches, and that fish gets that fly…I’m going to get that fish. A little ways away from that there was a hunter. And the hunter saw the fly and said: If that fly drops six inches, that fish gets that fly, and that bear gets that fish…I’m going to shoot that bear. A little ways away from that there was a mouse. And the mouse saw the fly and said: If that fly drops six inches, that fish gets that fly, that bear gets that fish, that hunter shoots that bear…I’m going to steal that hunters cheese. A little ways away from that there was a cat. And the cat saw the fly and said: If that fly drops six inches, that fish gets that fly, that bear gets that fish, that hunter shoots that bear, that mouse steals that cheese…I’m going to eat that mouse. Now for a brief moment everything stood still. There was silence everywhere as everyone watched the fly. All of a sudden, the fly dropped six inches. The fish jumped up and grabbed the fly, the bear ran in and got the fish, the hunter took aim and shot the bear, the mouse ran up to steal the hunters cheese, and the cat jumped at the mouse to eat him, but at the very last second the mouse saw the cat and jumped out of the way and the cat landed in the lake. Now the moral of the story is: When the fly drops six inches the pussy gets wet.
Funny pics : Some funny pics i’ve found on the net, enjoy ^^
[A Bus Full Of Ugly People]
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise. They’re all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. “I want to be gorgeous,” and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done. The second one in line hears this and says “I want to be gorgeous too.” Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted. This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing. Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy calms down and says: ” Make ’em all ugly again.”