Chapter 174 No One Wants To Die

=============================Sarah P.O.V==============================

-What the hell are you two doing ?!

Gary shouted out irritated upon seeing those two,his voice a bit too loud and excessive quickly forgetting what kind of place we were in as he couldn’t control himself and stepped out of the bushes he was hiding in swiftly walking up towards sophia and terry who were completely fine by the looks of it surrounding a single white bear cub underneath a hollow tree that was hugging sophia as if she was her mother herself.

The forest was pretty dark especially here since the trees were aligned in a way that didn’t even let the majority of the moonlight shine through and if you weren’t careful enough with your steps you could most likely trip onto a overgrown tree root or rock and injure yourself.

Hearing gary’s sudden shout terry’s first instinct was to draw the dagger on his waist and step in front of sophia to protect her.

The way he moved was intense,full of rigid steps and shakes,if I remember right terry’s class was that of a <Soldier> his class was fully combat oriented and he also had the fourth highest overall strength in our group,right behind me,and while he didn’t have any prior combat training he still could make things up with his over natural strength and speed,added to that he also had his own class skills that allowed him to use his sword even without prior knowledge and just through this “World System”.

Now thinking about it,lately terry had become very motivated in his training then at the beginning when he didn’t even want to leave the cave out of fear,I thought it was strange for him to change so quickly,but didn’t think about it too much since I just figured that he didn’t want to lose his life and went to train out of fear.

But surprisingly fear in itself didn’t seem to be a factor since he also participated in a few gather and hunting missions with janet and a few other girls…if I think about it sophia was also among the people who went to these hunts and gather missions together with janet,terry and another 2 girls…did they become friends through that ?

I wonder…

I thought for a second keeping my eyes on terry and sophia as I watching him stand guard.

Terry looked without a doubt scared,he had a grim look on his face upon seeing gary’s silhouette appear out of nowhere,it even looked as if he was just about to attack at any moment watching gary come close with every step.

The tension was high in the air.

But it only lasted for a few more seconds and instead of attacking,terry surprisingly loosened the grip on his blade and raised his head for a moment to look closer.

Only after identifying the person who was coming close did he lower his blade showing huge surprise on his end momentarily making the edge of his blade tremble in his hand.

-Wha…Gary !? what..what are you doing here ?!

Terry and sophia were shocked for a moment seeing gary appear out of nowhere,it seems as if they didn’t expect anyone to find them at all and what was left of the previous look of fear was quickly replaced with shock that made their eyes go wide.

-You know I would also like to know that too terry…

I said,revealing myself at that too as I faced terry.

-Uhh…sarah…you too ?!



Terry exclaimed meekly,now even seeing me appear out of the bushes,he was speechless and for a moment it seemed as if terry was lost in thought for a second before his face turned rigid and he glanced at sophia bellow him looking into her eyes and then turning back to us.

-Look this is my fault I was the one who…

Terry tried to explain,but before he was able to sophia who was being very quiet the entire time suddenly grabbed onto terry’s hand,stopping him momentarily before speaking herself while looking up to him with a void look in her eyes.

-shut up terry…I don’t need you to explain yourself for me,I already told you this from the get go this has nothing to do with you,you only followed me because you wanted to…you aren’t involved neither are you at fault so can you please let me speak for myself instead ?


It took a few seconds,but after hesitating for another few more terry awkward nodded back at sophia,his expression looked a bit hurt when he heard sophia’s cold words even I was slightly surprised that sophia could make such expression and voice,but if you really think about it that wasn’t really that big of a surprise…

And in a way this was a good thing,I learned more from these people and their characters in the last hour than I did in the last few days by living with them…

I thought,staring at sophia as I watched her get up from the ground patting the little white bear cub for a last time before putting it back into the hollow tree and facing us,her face didn’t show one bit of shame or guilt when facing us.

And instead she smiled with a complicated look on her face slowly walking up to us while holding her hands together,terry didn’t move from his spot and simply stood where he was looking the other way slightly ashamed and a bit regretful gripping his fist hard as if he was frustrated about something while also gritting his teeth.


The wind blew once again making leafs flutter as the branches started to shake in unison creating a soothing sound with it,the light of the moon also started to come more brightly through the leafs,giving us a better look as sophia stopped in her tracks facing us.

-Now let me explain…

Sophia said and with it she quickly started to explain the situation and how it got to this point up until now.


Sophia wasn’t in our original group,just like the majority of the other girls she was a part of stevens group who subjugated the girls in his group under tyranny with his friends.

After being saved sophia just like the other girls needed extensive amount of rest and peace to recover properly from injuries and mental trauma,but because of my healing skill and some help through sorron we were quickly able to stop their pain without a lot of issues.

But that was only a very small part of our problems as the real issue had only just started to come forth which was the mental damage the girls suffered from that was becoming a real problem to our group.

More then a few times we had to stay put at night and watch some of the girls so they wouldn’t commit suicide,some even refused to eat anymore or do anything at all while others just fled to their corners shaking with fear while hugging themselves mumbling something like a chant.

It was very problematic…

At first because it seemed as if we were only guarding a already lost cause that would never return to its former self it was as if these people couldn’t even think anymore and just wanted to go far away be it back at home or at some place so far that no one would even find them.

And while a small amount of them still wanted to live and move on just like valera most of them didn’t have those thoughts…no rather then moving on,they simply couldn’t move,they were all stuck behind a huge wall that would haunt their dreams every night.


A lot of arguing went on because of this,janet and christie especially had a lot of shouting going on between them because of the food we had that sometimes would go to waste or when one of the girls would scream in her sleep in the middle of the night and interrupting christies sleep.

In short everyone was stressed out.

Me personally,I couldn’t sleep a lot not because of the girls,but because of the situation that was simply still too surreal too me.

I preferred to sit night guard most of the days and just stare at the stars and feel the wind outside and relax rather then think about our problems,I didn’t want anyone to die and even now I still think like that,janet was also of my opinion she was our leader and gave her all to keep us safe no matter what which I am thankful for.

But at other times,I also couldn’t help,but indulge in my thoughts and become worried…what if christie was right ? What if we were just wasting a lot time and labor on something that couldn’t be brought back anymore ? Was it better to just simply leave and move one ? We didn’t have any sort of facilities or specialists to help these girls was it even possible ?

These questions would scare me and because I am not smart like sorron or janet,I wouldn’t know what to do or where to go who to listen to or what to do…

lately I had been keeping a lot of my worries to myself making me twitchy all the time and in the end the only one who I could really ask these questions janet after al,it was noon at the time janet and I were also standing night guard and because it was silent,I just couldn’t help,but ask.

-Can we really help them ? If they don’t even want to live…how can we help them ?

My question at the time was really negative,even janet couldn’t help,but look at me wide eyed for a moment the thoughts that were conveyed in her eyes weren’t unfamiliar to me either as most the people who would know me in real life would also think about these things.

Air-head,merry go like girl,naive,idiot…

You think I don’t know what you think about me…but it isn’t true,I know exactly what you think when you look at me the only reason why I don’t distrust everyone is because mom told me no one in this world is truly evil from the get go,if you are nice you will be treated nicely,helping others is a ordinary matter you shouldn’t necessarily thank someone just because they picked up your handkerchief or told them the right way to some place they wanted to know.

At least…thats what I always thought.

But time showed me that it wasn’t always like that…I may not be a complete air-head or merry go like girl,but what I definitely am is naive and idiotic.

Why is it wrong keep everyone happy ?

Why do some people need to pick at others ?

Do they need to keep themselves happy through that ?

Those kinds of thoughts constantly swarmed inside my head even back at home I thought of this and while no one ever picked on me or tried to make me a target for something,I still saw those kinds of people who were picked for one reason or another and thought to myself how stupid that is.

Calling me self-righteous is fine,because at least I had the gut to do something about the things the victims never did themselves…to resist.

But even then how come when someone helps you,instead of being polite or say nothing at all,you turn and become angry instead ? Where is the logic in it ? Is it pride ? Fear ? Embarrassment towards someone who could solve your problem better then you could ever solve it yourself ?

Would those people we were helping truly be happy with us helping them ?

I wanted to know…and finally I had my answer that came out of janet herself when she answered me.

-Nobody who lived truly wants to die…everyone wants to live even when we say we want to die we never really mean it,those are only our feelings talking and not ourselves that thinks like that even people who get old and are on their last but of time don’t want to truly die and while they have accepted death they only have accepted it because it was inevitable or because they feel at peace knowing that there is someone who would remember them as how they lived…It is the same with the girls…they don’t want to die they are afraid of dying like anyone else,but what they are even more afraid of is living and moving on from those horrible memories that will be scarred in their minds until they die.Dying now knowing that no one would ever remember how they had ended up is more ease putting then moving on having people know,it takes bravery to live only cowards decide to die on their own and if we can’t help them then they simply weren’t meant to live in the first place.Helping them may not make them happy now,but it will when they have truly lived again.

Those words had been since stuck in my head,I never started to doubt it anymore and while I did have troubling thoughts they were only fleeting thoughts and never recurring.

Afterwards,I also gave it my all just like janet helping everyone to stand up again,lily was one of the first who I really helped showing her a lot of things that I had found outside and talked about the things that happened outside she was once a very lifeless looking doll that wouldn’t do anything she changed drastically over the course of a single day when I took care of her and was now a bit more thicker then the skeleton she was a bit cheerier and happier.

And while we still couldn’t completely help everyone we were making a lot of steps in the right direction.

Sorron especially in this part of the problem was the guy who made the most progress even though he only visited us once he made the most impact turning it around.

His food was without a doubt something incredibly delicious the smell of the sweet soup itself was mouth watering making the girls run to the front to see where it came from even the people who refused to eat came to get a bowl only stopping right in front of the cave after they saw sorron who was next to the pot reading a book.

(She is referring to Chapter 76 All you can eat buffet)

Sorron’s methods were unbelievable towards someone like me…he used food alone to lure everyone out and while our cooking wasn’t bad,we still didn’t seem to be anywhere near to the level of cooking sorron was the highest level <Cooking> we had was level.3 and that was valera who is the daughter of a professional chef back in her home,it really takes ages for skills to level up properly cooking much more so since we can’t train it constantly.

It was only for this one moment when everyone could somewhat keep their heads high and eat without a problem and while there wasn’t a single piece of conversation between anyone,it was still better then anything to keep everyone together added to that he even helped with our most stressful girls problem which was hygiene by giving us a hot bath that only further let everyone forget the bad goods and think about the good things.

It was at this time that everything got turned around in a instant,people no longer started to scream in the middle of the night,refuse to eat or commit suicide.

And while that had stopped everyone still was not on the level of being able truly overcome this and continue living,but it was still an improvement to our group,you could say.

Still…just because you forgot a few things doesn’t mean you won’t remember them anymore…No,one truly was over everything that had happened so far not even valera who wanted to live and just like sophia some people while seeming to give life another go didn’t truly care if they continued to live or not.

It was something I only understood after listening to sophia.


About Kakemonoko

Just a normal student who loves to read write and study
Aside | This entry was posted in The Fragile Monster Lord. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Chapter 174 No One Wants To Die

  1. supremeradra says:

    So I guessing the cub is sort of like stress relief?


  2. ryouha26 says:

    I don’t think going outside where danger is everywhere especially at night is smart or normal unless this Sarah will die if she doesnt touch the cub or something. She better have a really good reason for this, if its “because I saw a cute cub”… I’d do something…

    Thnx for the chappy~ Nanodesu~


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